Walking into an adult store and being greeted by someone who not only knows the difference between various kinds of materials and motors, but also understands and empathizes, is where brick-and-mortar retailers really shine. Physical spaces enable them to engage shoppers’ senses, build rapport in real time and close sales. Customers can have their questions answered by knowledgeable staff members who listen to their specific needs and accommodate their comfort levels, curiosity — and even embarrassment.
“In an algorithm-driven world, shoppers can easily and cheaply buy the latest sensation without leaving the comfort of their own home,” says Dee Bertino, co-owner of Fantasy Gifts, which has stores in New Jersey and Minnesota. “But when you purchase a product online, you miss the human interaction and the ability to ask questions like ‘How does this work?’ ‘What do other people buy?’ ‘What other products do you recommend?’ ‘Is this the right product for my needs?’ An online chatbot will never be a substitute for a personal experience.”
Once you see a toy in person and hold it, you can feel that connection, a feeling that you do not get shopping online.
With countless digital storefronts just a phone swipe away, plus increasing competition from big-box stores dipping their toes into pleasure products and sexual wellness, adult retailers are working hard to make sure that “personal experience” is memorable enough to keep customers coming back for more.
“Online platforms offer convenience and price comparisons,” notes Julian Arellano, CEO and co-founder of Secreto Amor. “That means physical stores must create memorable experiences to stand out.”
At Inglewood, California-based Ghettoff, Executive Director Nefertiti Mitchell aims to do just that, taking customer service to the next level with a concierge team.
“That one-on-one connection builds trust and makes intimacy education feel approachable,” she shares.
Education is a prominent theme for brick-and-mortar retailers. In Chile, Japi Jane COO Nicole Carrasco Rojas touts her staff expertise, which is often backed by a diploma in human sexuality.
“This allows us to provide knowledgeable advice,” she says.
Megan Swartz, purchasing director for Janra Distribution, shares the same priorities.
“We’re constantly putting resources into staff training to ensure they’re not just salespeople, but compassionate experts,” she shares.
Sex Shop Matamoros owner Polo Medina trains staff members based on what he learns from attending shows, seminars and workshops, and underscores the importance of treating all customers with respect.
“There are no silly questions with what we sell,” he says.
Nobu Toys Creative Director Karalyne Fosty believes that strong sales are directly related to how confident staff members in Nobu’s 15 boutique locations feel about their product knowledge.
“Whether it’s explaining features or upselling accessories, we make sure that staff are equipped to sell smarter,” Fosty says. “This gives them a leg up compared to online retailers, which obviously can’t offer this human factor.”
Evolving Customer Expectations
Adult stores sure aren’t what they used to be.
“The lighting, the decor, the way everything is displayed — it all has to feel bright and friendly,” says Céline Menting, the founder of Toulouse, France-based boutique Le Clef de Charmes. “We have the progress Pride flag and ‘Ask for Angela’ signs in our window, and our team wears ‘You are safe with me’ badges.”
Kihya McComb, retail operations manager at Hush Lingerie and More in Canada, says her store similarly cultivates a safe, modern environment.
“It goes a long way to breaking the long-standing stigmas surrounding seedy sex shops,” McComb affirms. “Instead, we make the experience fun and accessible.”
With that experience now the norm, shoppers are no longer looking for quick, discreet purchases in brown paper bags, Arellano observes.
“Customers today expect an environment that is modern, inclusive and educational,” he says. “They are looking for more than just products — they want guidance, comfort and assurance that their needs will be respected regardless of background, orientation or experience level.”
Bertino agrees that customers have become much more interactive.
“Years ago, most customers shopped with blinders on and seldom interacted with our employees,” she recalls. “Today, they are much more likely to engage in conversations and ask questions. They are also much more knowledgeable about what they are looking for, and not timid about asking if they don’t see what they want.”
As a result, Fantasy Gifts takes “the Chick-fil-A approach.”
“If everyone working at a fast-food restaurant can greet you warmly, ask how they can further assist you and continually say, ‘My pleasure!’ with a smile on their face, why can’t we?” Bertino asks. “We train our employees to greet every customer and to ask open-ended questions to elicit a response and a dialogue.”
Swartz agrees that customer expectations have completely transformed in recent years.
“Customers want a safe, judgment-free space where they can ask questions and feel empowered,” she declares. “Ultimately, they’re seeking the kind of experience we’ve always aimed to provide. They’re recognizing us as legitimate, professional retailers and are no longer shying away from meaningful interactions.”
In-Person Desires
Brick-and-mortar stores offer other advantages as well. For Medina, shopping for pleasure products should also be a tactile experience.
“A dildo may look beautiful online, but it may not be the size or texture that you like,” he observes. “Once you see a toy in person and hold it, you can feel that connection, a feeling that you do not get shopping online.”
While toys remain the backbone of sales, many brick-and-mortar retailers report a tendency toward in-person shopping for wellness and health-related items.
“Lubricants, arousal products and educational tools are often overlooked online,” says Arellano. “Many customers come in seeking advice on products for intimacy, comfort and confidence.”
Mitchell also sees in-person shoppers gravitating toward self-care items such as lotions, oils and lingerie.
“Often they’re looking for the everyday enhancers that make intimacy part of daily life,” she says. “They bridge the gap between sensuality and self-care.”
Menting refers to such items as “moment creators.”
“These are products that help create a special atmosphere or a sexy mood,” she says. “For example, our aphrodisiac chocolates are a huge hit. They’re fun to enjoy while watching a movie, but can also be part of a more adventurous night. It just goes to show that people are looking to enhance their experiences in all kinds of ways.”
Menting also notes another characteristic of in-person shoppers.
“The people who come to our physical store are more serious and informed,” she says. “They’ve done their research and they’re ready to buy.”
Building Community
Just as online retailers need to drive traffic to their websites, brick-and-mortar stores must do whatever they can to bring in foot traffic. Unfortunately, many adult stores have seen foot traffic declining.
Bertino cites a number of potential contributing factors.
“I believe one of the reasons is that so many people bought toys during COVID, and toys are now made of such quality that people do not need to come back for a new, shiny sex toy every few months,” she suggests. “That coupled with economic anxiety, stress about the world situation and the competition from online shopping has definitely led to a drop in foot traffic.”
How to remedy that? With direct advertising limited by content restrictions, many retailers use social media platforms to convey their “personality” instead.
“Since we can’t always be direct, we focus on humor, education, and showcasing our stores’ unique vibe and values,” says Swartz. “It’s less about pushing products and more about saying, ‘Hey, we’re a fun, knowledgeable and judgment-free space.’ That approach helps people connect with our message and feel comfortable visiting in person.”
Menting agrees, noting that social media is about building a community and trust.
“We use our social media to show the day-to-day life of our shop,” she says. “The funny stories, the behind-the-scenes moments and what we do every day. This human side helps people feel like they know us, which makes them feel safe and curious enough to come visit us in person.”
Community events can also help foster that connection.
“People are very hungry for a sense of community,” says Bertino. “They want to go to fun, low-cost events with like-minded individuals.”
For Swartz, events play a crucial role in helping customers discover Janra’s Deja Vu Love Boutique stores.
“Hosting or participating in community events allows us to engage directly with people in meaningful, approachable ways,” she notes.
Mitchell sees events as the heartbeat of Ghettoff.
“From mixers to workshops, we use events to connect people to our space and our mission,” she says. “They allow guests to experience our brand through the five senses, and bring in people who might not otherwise step into an adult boutique, but then leave feeling empowered and connected.”
To widen its reach, Ghettoff hosts mixers and events designed for diverse audiences.
“Singles, couples, LGBTQ+ community members — intimacy belongs to everyone,” Mitchell says. “The goal is always to normalize the conversation and make self-care feel inclusive.”
Medina of Sex Shop Matamoros says his store tries to stay on the radar of young people and couples by proactively making its presence known at local events, bars and clubs.
“Partnering with a neighborhood bar for a happy-hour event can introduce our shop to an entirely different crowd,” he says. “Sometimes what we do does not have instant results, but we know they eventually will stop by the stores. It’s all about making the store a destination — not just a place to shop, but a place to connect.”
Where Pleasure Meets Purpose
Even beyond competition from ecommerce and big-box stores, today’s brick-and-mortar retailers face significant hurdles. Those attempting to expand often encounter regulatory and zoning roadblocks that make it hard to open new locations. Many stores are also feeling the impact of global tariffs, with supply chain headaches, sourcing uncertainty and unpredictable delays.
Brick-and-mortar adult retailers are rising to these challenges. Instead of waiting for the future to happen to them, they’re actively shaping it, thinking beyond the cash wrap and implementing a variety of forward-thinking strategies.
“We are investing in modernized store designs, digital integration and customer education programs,” Arellano says. “This includes interactive displays, workshops and events that foster community engagement. We’re also focusing on expanding distribution to more small retailers here in Latin America, to build partnerships to ensure customers always have access to the latest and most innovative products.”
Others are expanding in unexpected directions. At Fantasy Gifts, Bertino is leaning into social and cultural trends in a big way.
“We saw the increase in sales of fantasy products and the boom in romance bookstore sales, and thought, ‘Why not combine the two?’” she gushes. “So we opened our new Romantasy Bookstore. We now have a separate 500-square-foot space with over 2,000 romance books. There’s an interior door that connects it with Fantasy Gifts. If you buy a book, you get 10% off the purchase of a toy. We had over 200 customers through the door for our soft opening weekend. We believe this investment will significantly increase the foot traffic to Fantasy Gifts.”
Ghettoff is investing in a second location, and has a new Wellness Center in the works.
“We’re also upgrading our spaces — new lighting, signage, seating and ADA compliance improvements — to ensure accessibility and comfort,” she says. “Beyond the physical, we’re investing in community partnerships and concierge training so Ghettoff remains not just a boutique, but a destination where pleasure meets purpose.”
With growing awareness about the environment and the way people consume, Menting hopes to set her store apart as a leader in industry by taking on waste and consumer behavior head-on.
“The biggest project we’re working on right now is with a French company called REJOUIS, which specializes in reconditioned sex toys,” she reveals. “We hope to open a new section in our store for these products very soon. It’s a huge step for us, but a very important one for a modern and responsible future.”
From Canada to Chile to France, one through line emerges: In the world of adult retail, brick-and-mortar stores are becoming more than a point of sale. They’re transforming into hubs of education, experimentation and belonging. Above all, these stores seek to refine the in-store experience, making sure it is so compelling, intentional and community-driven as to be irreplaceable.
One-click checkout and algorithmic ads may drive a large portion of today’s shopping, but digital convenience can’t replace human connection. That’s why brick-and-mortar adult retailers have survived and thrived — not by trying to outpace online retailers or undercut warehouse prices, but by providing an experience that can’t be duplicated in a browser window.
